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Many men feel they have to be the "strong one" when their wife or partner is diagnosed with breast cancer. You may feel unable to express your own emotions, worries or anxieties about your partner's illness.
It is normal to be on your own "emotional rollercoaster" when your wife is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. You need your own support network and your own outlet for your emotions so that you can offer effective support to your wife or partner as she goes through this journey.
Make sure you have a friend or relative you can talk to and if you don't have someone you feel comfortable confiding in, then think about getting professional help.
A breast cancer diagnosis and treatment is not a journey that is made alone. The woman diagnosed takes her husband, partner, children, parents, siblings and friends with her.
If you’re supporting a woman through breast cancer, there may be times when you don’t know what to say; when you feel too wrapped up in your own emotions; and when you don’t know what kind of help to offer.
It's okay to have your own emotions and it's best to be honest with the woman you're supporting and to let her know that you're finding it difficult dealing with things at the moment.
Generally, women undergoing chemotherapy will find they start to suffer hair loss after the second treatment.
You may find you wake up with hair over your pillow or you start to notice hair falling out in the shower or on your clothes. Many women find the loss of hair to be a difficult experience. It is a very obvious sign of cancer and the fact you are undergoing treatment.
A wig can be a good option to help restore confidence and self-esteem. But there are also many attractive hats and scarves available and many women like to wear a hat to bed because they find their head can get cold.
Undergoing medical treatment for breast cancer brings with it a range of stresses and the last thing you need to be worrying about is how you are going to pay your bills.
Treatment may put you under financial strain, either because you choose to pay for some treatment options or because you are not working during treatment. If you meet the criteria, you can access financial help through Work and Income New Zealand.
Emotionally, breast cancer, can be a tough time. In the early stages you may be focusing on the physical aspects of the disease, but you are also likely to be on an “emotional rollercoaster”.
Make sure you rely on your loved ones to help get you through these trying times. However, your friends and family are also likely to be on their own “emotional rollercoaster” so some women prefer to talk to others who have had breast cancer, to a counsellor or psychologist.
Often the emotional effects of a breast cancer diagnosis can last far longer than the physical ones and many women find they have a different attitude to life after breast cancer. In many cases, this can be a very positive thing.
You might like to try these tips on coping emotionally:
If you decide to delay reconstructive surgery, or not have it at all, then you might want to look at how you can create the appearance of a natural breast by using a prosthesis (for mastectomy) or breast form (for lumpectomy).
After surgery and before discharge from hospital, your breast nurse will talk to you about whether wearing a prosthesis may be appropriate for you. If you decide it is, she will provide you with a temporary soft prosthesis which can be used while the surgical area is healing. After healing (most likely five to six weeks post op), you may wish to obtain a permanent breast prosthesis.
Breast cancer treatment takes a huge toll on your body. You will find it easier to cope with the side effects of treatment if you are otherwise in good physical health.
Make sure you:
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Exercise. Studies have shown that regular moderate exercise can help to improve quality of life, reduce fatigue, improve energy levels and help to maintain a healthy weight. Read more about exercising after breast cancer here. Many women find joining a dragon boating team helpful and enjoyable after breast cancer.
During and after your breast cancer treatment you may be left with numerous physical side effects that affect your day-to-day life.
These may include pain, lymphoedema, fatigue, early menopause, and/or limited muscle movement in your back or arm. You may also have to cope with hair loss, scars, and the loss of a breast.
In this section, you’ll find information about
Many women who have experienced breast cancer feel they have new perspective on life once they have finished treatment. But many also approach this time with a feeling of trepidation.
You may feel uncomfortable about no longer having regular contact with your medical team. You may feel anxious and worried about whether the cancer will return. You may feel worried about the future.
Advanced or metastatic breast cancer is when the breast cancer cells spread from the breast to other parts of the body. This leads to the development of cancer in other areas, such as the liver, bone, lungs or brain.
There is no known cure for advanced breast cancer so facing a diagnosis can be scary. You may be thinking “how long do I have?”, “why me?”, and “it’s not fair”.
You will not know exactly what the future holds, but for many women the disease can be well controlled and they live full, happy and productive lives.
